From Angel To Monster

Why is Monster like this?

Like what!? I'm perfect!

This is a difficult post to write. I've tried a couple of times before, but I can't seem to get it right. I've finally decided that I can't really write this hoping to sound objective, so here goes anyway.

I think everyone with a problem dog find themselves making excuses.
"He's never like this at home."
"He's actually very sweet."
"He's not really angry, he's playing tough because he's scared"
If you haven't said it, you've probably heard it (and rolled your eyes at it). But nothing sounds as pathetic as when someone tries to explain what happened to make their little angel misbehave...

Misbehave? You were done with this, I saw you throw it away.

But regardless if you think I'm just making deluded excuses for a hopeless case (of a "bad breed", even), this is the truth as I see it.

Monster was attacked three times as a puppy. Twice by a German Shepherd lady who lives down the street. Turns out she has a problem with puppies, and she simply tried to kill Monster. And once by Dobie, who had some sort of nervous breakdown at a birthday party and decided to take it out on the safe target.

Monster didn't seem badly affected by this to me. He kept greeting these dogs (who were already his friends before the attacks) happily and willingly. I figured the best thing to do was not make a big deal out of it, just carry on with every day life. I actually still don't know what to do differently in this situation...

And then Monster hit puberty, and suddenly started his aggressive behavior towards dogs. As I understand it, his hormones suddenly provided him with a new outlet for the fear he'd been building, and it all came roaring out...

Well, it's not like she has any pictures of that. I'd eat the camera if she tried... 

And then I kept making it worse, first with that horrible first obedience class, and then with my desperate course corrections.

I wish a lot of things, but I don't blame anyone other than myself. Certainly not the dog, his breed, or his breeding. I wish I was a better person, who made better choices.

But this is our history so far, and I can't change it. But I can damn well learn from it! And I can do my best every day from here on. (Well, I probably won't, but I think I can manage a significantly higher average at least.)

Oh, you'd better...