Today's Cloud

Let me share a little story with you:

The day after my post declaring the blog live again, I dragged my diseased carcass over to my main computer (remember, pretty much everything else computerish I owned is by now broken), thinking that even with a cold making me useless I could at least manage to work on the computer. I'd gotten a CM 4-in-3 hd bay, and a new 3TB drive delivered, and even with a cold I can hold a (small) screw driver. So I installed the bay, moved my existing hard drives into it and added the new one, cleared up the kitten-in-a-knitting-store nest of cables in there a bit. Closed the case, rolled my eyes at how exhausted I was, and turned the computer on...

Oh man, I remember this bit. Pardon me while I go hide.

Only to be greeted with a PXE-error (check cable). Blind panic, no idea what that means, no way of getting on the internet to find information, too late to drive over to someone with a functioning computer, and zero chance I won't do something stupid. So I open the case up again, start checking the relevant cables and connections, can't find anything wrong but hope I may have jiggled something right without noticing it, start the computer again: PXE-error. Open the case, pull all cables and reset them, start again: PXE-error. In most of these retries I've also been going into the BIOS to try to find some clues to what the hell a PXE-error could possibly be (meaning, in retrospect, I've been looking right at it - I can even remember seeing the drive boot order and thinking it was the wrong SATA port in first). Completely nuts and frantic, I open the case yet again, pull everything off the motherboard - just so I can try to read all the text on there to see if I can find something relating to PXE. Finally I give up, by then actually crying, computer in pieces around my feet, Monster anxiously trying to push himself between me and whatever's upsetting  me, and stagger off to snuggle with my dog on the couch and try to hold on to my sanity (yes, I'm aware that it was long gone by then, but I didn't know that then) until dawn when I could crash my sister's house and use her computer to find out what had gone wrong.

I have to deal with all that crazy, and all I get is a lousy carrot...

After about half an hour of intense Monster therapy (consisting of him snoring on my lap, drooling on my pants, and generally sharing his abundance of wonderfulness), I'm finally calm enough to realize two things. One: I was not in shape to be tinkering with the computer to begin with. And two: I know what PXE-error means! So, in spite of Monster's objections, back to the computer we go. I reassemble the poor thing, turn it on, correct the hard drive boot order in the BIOS, and hey! Working computer!

I don't really care either way, but at least it meant I could finally get some sleep!

So what does this story of idiocy have to do with Monster? Well, it nicely illuminates two things relevant to dealing with a reactive dog: Firstly, trying to do more than you can actually handle is just stupid. There's no shame in sneaking around in the middle of the night just to avoid triggers. It's not the right thing to do to confront a situation you're not 100% percent sure will go in your favor, it's not a game of he who dares wins. Smart people win, and smart people know their limitations and work around them. Don't let people tell you you need to push it harder in training: if you're cautious you may progress a little slowly, but if you push it too hard and put yourselves in a situation where you've made a mistake and your dog goes over threshold you lose a lot of ground. Much like an idiot who can't accept that being sick isn't the same as being idle, and tries to find busywork for hands whose brain pilot's off on vacation.

And second: Never, ever lose your cool. No matter how bad a situation you find yourself in, don't panic and react. Cut your losses, get out of there, calm down, regroup, think it through, and then make adjustments for the future. If your dog is suddenly over threshold surrounded by triggers with no way out, don't try to manage him, don't try to find that magic fix ("Where's the ball?! Want a treat?? Find the ball! Sit, sit!!! Oh god, please calm down - and shut up!"). Deal with the situation instead ("Back up and give us space."). Or you'll make a bad situation worse and it will all spin out of control. Remember, nothing is so bad you can't make it worse! Much like a fever dazed idiot scattering computer parts all over the floor looking for the mean pixie...

In case you're wondering what's with this looooong and tortured simile, I've spent nearly four months surrounded by people who have no idea of what it's like to have a dog like Monster, no idea why I train like I do, and an extreme reluctance to learn about it (it's so much easier to just have uninformed opinions after all - less work). Meaning I've had some serious training in taking the long way around, and it seems like it's taking a while to wind back down. Sorry about that.

Not half as sorry as some of us. Here, have a blanket - and shut up!

Got you. Nightie-night.