Today's Cloud

I keep thinking there's something... "off" about how Monster moves. I can't pinpoint what it is (I'm truly hopeless at spotting gait asymmetries) but I can't shake the general impression that there's something a little wrong. But at just under two years of age I had him X-rayed for his official joint certification: clear elbows, clear hips. A year later I had him X-rayed from head to tail to look for abnormalities: completely clear. He's been examined by two separate orthopedic specialist veterinarians, at two different clinics: nothing wrong with him. I have to accept that I've really done what I can to find out if there's anything wrong, and that people with years and years of professional experience tell me that he's fine. But. I just... I can't shake it, he moves weird! I'm so incredibly worried that he's in pain somewhere. It's exhausting! But what if I am missing something after all...?

Would you relax?! Oh, and quit walking behind me to stare at my butt as I walk, it's weird!

Perhaps this is what you get when you lose much loved dogs to hip and elbow dysplasia? Perhaps it's because of Monster's mental issues, and I'm just searching for something physical to "fix" for him? I don't know... But I think I have to stop. I have done the best I can with what is at most very vague symptoms (and perhaps most likely nothing at all). I've taken him to the vet's - I've taken him to several vets. If there's truly something wrong I'll have to let it become worse (and therefore diagnosable) rather than hold my breath at every stumble. It's just... It's not so easy to just stop worrying, you know?