Today's Cloud

Absolutely miserable day today. And it's barely even afternoon. We've had a huge setback today, and I feel awful.

Me too...

I've been feeling "off" from when I first woke up this morning, and I have no clue why. Some days are just like that I guess. And Monster is perhaps reacting to it, and/or me being off kilter has made me handle situations all wrong. We've just come in from a walk where Monster reacted to another dog walking past about 40 meters away! And we're not talking the odd lunge or growl here, we're talking full blown meltdown. I had to (or rather, I chose to) physically wrestle him down to keep him on the ground. That may have been a mistake (it certainly didn't help calm him down!), but he was lunging, air snapping, and jumping so bad I was worried the leash would snap. And as soon as that dog had passed and we'd taken three steps toward home another dog turned the corner... Monster was already wound up, and of course it all went south again.

Can we stay in today?

This is the first time in a long time that I can remember Monster being vibratingly hyped even after the trigger has passed. When we got home he proceeded to pretty much trash the house and run barking from window to window. I think at least 90% of that is from how I handled the situation, not from "just" going over threshold. (Judging from what's different this time.) I handled it badly. As I said I'm not sure what I should have done differently, Monster was really acting up and I felt it was too risky to not try to intervene - but of course, in that state any intervention needs to be amped up to 11. And it will come back with interest. Which it has/is. And I worry about this setback will affect him next walk, tomorrow, next week... And it worries me that even after I've realized I made a mistake I can't come up with a better solution! Is that because this is still a bad day and I'll figure something out when I'm back on top, or am I really no better than this?

And I knew today was a bad day (I had already chosen to not let him off leash today, since that only happens on days when I'm feeling focused and in control, and Monster acts his best), so I was aware I needed to be extra careful. Failed that too.

This is a shitty day!

I doubt there'll be a Sunshine post today... Now I have to go stop Monster from eating the curtains. And not lose my temper with him.