Today's Cloud

While the session today was very interesting (and I'm getting homework, which I love since it helps me structure our training better), toward the end it didn't go so well. For the first time in a very long time (once again I have no real idea how long it's been since this was an issue, sorry), Monster began aggressing vocally toward the trigger. He reared up, and growled and barked toward the staged person. When I pulled him away he turned on me and bit the treat pouch. It... wasn't great.

Oh, please! You people just can't take a joke!

I'm not sure if he really was showing aggression or if he was just very frustrated, though. He let it go as soon as he got away, which he could never do before. He didn't seem stressed. And the biting seemed more playful than anything, both in his choice of target ("This is mine, give it!"), and in that he sought eye contact with me as he bit. Plus, you know, nothing broke. If he really wanted to bite me, he would, and if he really wanted to take the treat pouch he'd just tear it off. He's got the physical power to do as he pleases.

Oh, you better believe it...

And not only that, but it didn't seem like the old warnings and marking of - for him - unacceptable behavior either. At worst, I'd say it was a challenge, and a rather playful one at that. But as for what he was directing toward the trigger, I'm not as sure...

So, while today's training session really was mostly positive, I will say that I'm a little disappointed by this behavior toward the end. Not only disappointed, but also confused. Which isn't great, but on the other hand it's a new challenge! It's all a matter of perspective.

Today's Sunshine

Just got back from a training session with Teach, so I'm going to try to use up whatever mustered up energy I have left to get some posts up. If something just dies out in the middle of a sentence, I've fallen asleep on the keyboard...
(Didn't realize how tired I was before I got in the car to drive home again, and nearly fell asleep at the wheel waiting out a red light. Not an ideal spot for a nap.)

You're way too picky - every spot is a great spot for a nap!

Today's session was a lot of fun! No dog today, just a person - which for Monster may actually have been worse, I'm not sure... I had trouble reading some of his reactions, to be honest. But for the most part things went very well, he rarely fixated (actually it was difficult to get him to care about the staged person at all at first), he responded well to walking away, and at least initially even his reactions and lunges were playful. Not so all the way through (I think), but this is the Sunshine post after all.

Which leads me to: Teach helped me realize something today. It's actually a pretty big deal, and I can't explain how I've completely missed it so far. When we first started our training sessions with Teach, Monster would bite me - not very hard, but a clear warning - if I put my hand near his face once he'd locked on to a trigger ( = gotten far too close, to the point that an attack was imminent). It was impossible to feed him treats at that point, which I had to warn Teach about when he was about to try it. As he brought up that memory today I realized I have no idea how long ago it's been since that was last an issue. These days, if Monster gets completely fixated on a trigger I don't even think about a risk of him biting me if I try to get his attention physically. That's... wow. What a difference!

Bite you? What are you talking about? If I'd wanted to bite you, you'd have one less hand. Just so you know.

It may not sound like much, and the fact that I hadn't even noticed it may make it sound like even less of a big deal, but I think this may be one of the brightest Sunshines I've ever posted here. It's a big deal, people.

Today's Cloud

I'm losing ground. I keep trying to keep up, but I'm not trying hard enough. Monster is losing interest in the boring clump dragging the other end of the leash, ignoring me again for the much more interesting rest of the world.

Today he lunged at a passing semi, nearly dragging both of us into the road. He'd stopped doing that a while ago.

He lunged at a dog about 300 feet away from us, moving away from us, and kept doing it until the dog was out of sight. He hasn't been reacting like that in months.

He pulls on the leash. He tries to look over garden fences of the houses we pass by. He stops to smell an interesting spot, completely ignoring my halfhearted attempts to move us along. He's started taking rewards from my hands instead of performing for them.

If the pollen season doesn't blow over soon, we're going to be back on square one...

Oh, come on! I'm adorable!

Actually, that's not true. If I don't pull myself together soon, regardless of circumstances and whiny excuses, we're going to be back on square one. I've been allergic for 25 years, I should be able to deal with it by now!

Today's Sunshine

At least I'm still hanging in there. We still go for walks, we still do some training indoors.

That's not much to brag about...

I don't know why this pollen season is hitting me so hard, I know I've lived through worse. Perhaps it's allergy amnesia?

Lazy Blogsmanship (Again)

Yes, I've been neglecting the blog again. I've fallen off the coffee wagon, blaming it on things like "I need it, because in pollen season I get sooooo sleepy" and "Well, my brother drinks two cups of coffee every two hours, it's impolite to not join him"...

These things are true, coffee helps against the allergic perma-doze and my brother drinks copious amounts. But while I love coffee, my body simply can't tolerate it. In spite of not drinking any later than 9 am (for the later coffee breaks I'd just have sympathy tea - red or green, no caffeine - while Roar drank a whole coffee plantation's worth), I cannot sleep. I go to bed around 2 am, toss and turn, and give up around 6. I'm now so sleep deprived I'm literally dizzy.

My brain is already parked in neutral with all the infernal pollen flying around, I don't need to deliberately add to my cognitive difficulties! No more coffee since yesterday (when my brother left for home) and by this evening I'm actually sleepy, not just tired. Unfortunately I'm also in caffeine withdrawal and have a splitting headache... Still, I'm planning on getting to bed within the hour and sleeping until at least 7 tomorrow morning.

Aren't you forgetting something? Or someone?

So what does this have to do with Monster, the real reason we're all here? My mental and physical state affects him too, of course, and I've been more or less neglecting him lately. I find going on walks difficult (I can't breathe with all the pollen), when we do get out I'm confused and distracted, more or less just a lump of tired barely hanging on to one end of the leash. No fun for Monster, and actually potentially hazardous as I'm not attentive enough to spot trouble before it's already too late. Training is a joke, I miss the reward moments, I forget what we're even doing, and I give up for just about anything. In short, I suck.

Time to change that! I can't stop breathing pollen, but I can stop drinking coffee. I think.

Imagine having to live with this...

I'm rambling, aren't I? So tired. I'll do better tomorrow. Remind me to tell you about yesterday's meeting with Teach, Monster got to meet a very scary stuffed toy dog. Should have brought my camera...

Today's Cloud

Less than one minute after my brother entered the house, he squared off against an overexcited Monster and growled at him to -Cut it out!

Whaaaaat? Are you joking? Are you threatening me? I think I'd better react to both possibilities simultaneously.

So I asked Roar to please be mindful of not frightening the dog (who was by then bouncing up and down trying to get in Roar's face), while trying to distract and calm Monster down. Unfortunately, my brother appears to have heard this as "Please grab the dog by the neck and tell him off more sternly, and then try to grab him around the muzzle when he comes close again"...

Not sure how I could have mumbled so badly that that's what it sounded like?

Well, you work with what you've got instead of wishing you had something else. After leashing Monster and getting my brother to sit down for a while (not by telling him to do so, as that would most likely result in him starting a wrestling match with Monster, but by bribing him with coffee), things calmed down again. I don't know how long it'll last, but it's not a disaster it's just an opportunity. For what, I'm not sure, but I'm determined not to get bogged down in "if only" and "I wish".

Suck it up and deal with it!

Look, I know you're dumb... But you've got to know you're not fooling anyone - not even yourself, easy as that should be.

Today's Sunshine

Well, my brother turned up eventually! That's a relief.

Wait, was he ever going to not turn up? You said he was coming, and then he was here. I don't get the problem...

But this is supposed to be about Monster after all, so... Monster was fairly attentive to me on our morning walk today. Not very attentive. But on the other hand he was very wound up, bouncy and excited. In that state I'm lucky he doesn't try to pop my hand off at the wrist with his tugging, and I can get eye contact with the man in the moon easier than with Monster. But today, even with the screaming of the pheasants and the rustling of the running deer (are they standing around waiting for us, like the background people in The Truman Show?! lay off with the constant temptations, Bambi!), Monster kept an eye on me, often stopping to look back, and even being mindful not to get the line tangled around trees when he left the path.

Not bad.