Hypochondria, Indeed...

Took Monster to the vet today. Nothing wrong with him. Of course.

In fact, he was so healthy they didn't even bother sedating him to examine him further. In the vet's opinion Monster's in great health, albeit very skinny, but has a behavior issue. Yeah, knew the last two points already.

The exam was awful. Monster did well (for him) initially, but when he was taken into a corridor so the vet could watch him move it all started going south. There were people passing, some were carrying things, dogs were barking behind doors, he had to stand and be poked and prodded in all this, and he couldn't take it for very long. He started lunging and growling, both trying to get away and scare people off. He managed to jump up at one vet tech who was passing when I didn't see her, and put his feet on her chest and stick his nose in her face... He was muzzled, and quiet, but it was of course terrifying for her nonetheless.

That was a difficult place to be. I hadn't expected we'd be forced to stand for an examination in the middle of a busy (and narrow) corridor, with people coming from both directions and turning up from behind... And all for nothing, as the vet determined there was nothing wrong with him after all. It wasn't a surprise, I've been debating whether or not to have him looked at for ages now because a large part of me was convinced he's fine. But hearing it felt awful. Not because I was in any way disappointed that he's healthy, but because it means I've put myself, the veterinary staff, and most of all Monster through an awful ordeal for nothing. I'm ashamed and sad, and I actually started crying when she told me. Which made me embarrassed, which is not the best emotion to have when you're trying to stop crying...

Still, it's over now. We're back home, nothing really bad happened, and Monster is resting. I'll let myself wallow for today, but tomorrow I have to let this go. It is good that Monster is fine! I'm just upset that I went chasing wild geese at his expense.

No Posts Lately

I know I haven't been posting the last few day, I'm sorry.

I've finally won the war with myself on whether to take Monster to the vet, and he's booked for a full checkup tomorrow. But since I made the appointment I've been freaking out, and every time I try to write about our day it all seems so trivial compared to the looming doom of the vet's judgment...

Trying to be objective, there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with Monster. But it's been nagging at me for ages, and now I'm freaking out that it will be bad news. And not only will it mean Monster's in pain for some reason or other, it'll mean he's been in pain for a long time and I've done nothing about it.

Yes, I am a hypochondriac by proxy! How did you know?!

Somebody save me. Please.

I'll tell you how it went tomorrow after the appointment. Unless I'm too busy crying hysterically...

Today's Cloud

There's lots to do in the garden these days. Especially for me, who's fighting against the pollen clock. Soon there will be no possibility for me to do much at all outdoors for a while...

So I find myself rationalizing spending less time with Monster. I try to tell myself just being outside with him a lot, letting him chew on sticks, bark at the neighbors (well, I don't let him, but...), and "help" me with the flowerbeds, weeds, dead leaves, sticks and general springy stuff, is enough for him. After all, even if it's not a walk, he's moving around a lot. And even if it's not training, he's active.

Found another apple, Mom! I'll put it in the pile, OK?

But the truth is he's sort of on his own, even though he's right beside me. I'm focused on what I'm doing, leaving him to amuse himself. And he's even locked inside the house when I'm outside. It turns out that while he's fine around a "dead" chainsaw, as soon as I yank the starter cord he goes nuts and and tries to grab the sword. NOT SAFE! So, crazy Monster gets to sit indoors and howl whenever it's tree massacre time...

He does have a lot of sticks to play around with afterwards, though.

You think that makes up for it? It doesn't.

Today's Sunshine

We're now up to two sofa cushions, all four feet on them! However, he now wants to sit down as soon as he's up, so we may need to spend some time building his will to stand and balance before we move up further.

No matter how it goes, though, we're both having fun with this exercise!

She's lying. I never get to do anything fun! It's just work, work, work...

Today's Cloud

Bark! Barky, barky, bark-bark-bark! BARK!

Barking at the neighbors, every chance he gets. Bark bark bark. Bark, there's a car! Bark, the car's stopped! Bark, someone's getting out! Bark, there's a complete stranger outside the fence! Bark, the stranger is talking to me! Bark, the stranger walks away to the mailboxes. Phew, all is calm - no wait! Bark, someone is coming toward me from the mailboxes! Bark, a stranger is talking to me! Bark, the stranger is holding a dangerous key-shaped object! Bark, the stranger is approaching the neighbor's house! Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, burglary! Bark! Oh, danger appears over, I have successfully scared off the suspicious looking stranger! All is well, you can relax now...

Don't worry, I'm on the job.

Well, I can't relax! Would he please just stop barking? At least at people he's known for over a year? Or at least at my sister?! She's family! What's gotten into him?

Ah, I'm too tired to figure it out. Bark, bark, bark, all day long...

Today's Sunshine

I've been working on getting Monster to balance on things for a while, with very little success. The goal is to have him up on an exercise ball - both to give him a workout and because it looks cool of course - but there's no way he'll agree to that without building up to it. So I've been trying different things to use as buildup, but with the aforementioned lack of success. Most things aren't big enough for him to voluntarily step up with all four feet at the same time, and those that are (like a table, my baby's not small) are far too sturdy to easily transfer the experience to a ball later.

However, today I took a back cushion from the sofa, don't know why I didn't think about that before. He wouldn't really stand on that either, instead laying down on it with half his body hanging out, but once I became even smarter and picked a seat cushion instead we started getting somewhere. Unfortunately we ran out of treats before we could get any further, but at least now I know I've found an angle to work from. Once he'll solidly step up and move around on the seat cushion, I'll add another. And then another. The pile will be unstable and bouncy, not unlike the ball - although it won't roll around, fortunately. Once he feels comfortable with that it may be time to try moving over to the ball. At this pace it may take a year or so, though. Monster is... not participating in training lately.

Why should I? It's stupid. You're stupid. Turn on the TV!

Bloody teenagers...

Whining, As Usual

Headache. No posts today.

Well, except this one.