Friday Of Shame

Alright, let's do this!

Do you really think this'll work?

Today I have achieved the following:

• Walks:   2h 45min... Yeah, better than yesterday maybe but nowhere near anything to be content with. Again I'm writing this before our last evening walk, but from how I feel right now I doubt it'll be anything to write about anyway...
• Exercise:   0... Yeah, that may look bad but this time it's actually OK... No, really, it is. Today was meant to be a resting day, and since I overdid it with the dragweight yesterday there's extra reason for it too. So zero exercise is OK - but just for today.
• Training:   40-50min? Two sets of nosework (searching for a piece of plastic, indoors, four rooms), unfortunately not entirely sure how long but I estimate ~10min each - with better planning and preparation I would have known more precisely, no doubt. Also did some trick shaping (trying to get the "hands up - play dead" trick, for whatever reason), again very uncertain how long we spent on it but I think around 20-30min. Too long, anyway, since Monster wound up having to tell me he was tired before I stopped. Again the lack of planning made it ineffectual and uncontrolled.

Also adding a couple of new categories...

• Planning/preparation:   0. Any and all activities we've gotten around to today happened haphazardly, nothing planned or prepared. Also have spent no time planning or preparing for tomorrow.
• Other:   ~20min. Have spent some time giving Monster a massage, plus experimented on some new treats. (In case you're wondering: don't make a mousse by running canned tuna and rice flour in a blender, put the resulting goop in a cake decorating bag and squeeze it out as training treats. Apart from the mess, apparently raw rice flour results in a dog a few hours later turning in a doughnut shape to stare in confusion at his behind, since it's making weird noises - and even weirder smells...)

Tell me when it's over!

 Too early to tell how/if this works I guess... Although I have been aware of this post looming all day, so maybe it's having an effect! Most of all I just want to sleep, though...

Monster Massage

I decided to try my hand at massaging Monster today. I've long thought he'd benefit from massage, he tends to have some tight muscles along the spine and neck and it's of course also supposed to be generally beneficial. Unfortunately I can't take him to a massage therapist since I can't be sure how he'd react. I've been reading about canine massage and watching some videos on youtube to try to get the hang of it, and today I decided it was time to put theory into practice. My greatest inspiration is a youtube video of a woman massaging her Boxer. To be honest, I had to fight a bit with myself to watch it through and take her seriously - things like cutesy smiley faces and pausing to think happy thoughts just doesn't come naturally to me. I want facts and straight lines. But that's my own weakness - or prejudice if you will - and I can't let that rule everything. Because what she can do to her dog is nothing short of magic, and I would be truly closed minded if I couldn't see and admit that. There are more technical videos out there, I've watched them too, but this is the one I return to. This is what I want for Monster. Take a look and tell me if this isn't doggie nirvana:

So. Time to try the same for Monster. I put some soft blankets down for him, made sure I was calm and focused, and gave it a go... No doggie nirvana for Monster, let me tell you. What followed was 45 minutes of me trying to get him to relax, while he rolled around on the floor, chewed on my fingers, compulsively licked my hands, arms, legs and feet, got up and walked away, and eventually just started crying! Whenever he got up and left I just sat there and waited to see if he would come back, which he always did after just a few seconds (he basically walked one or two laps around me and then lay back down again). When he started licking or biting me I just took my hands back and waited for him to settle down again. Same when he rolled around, and when he started kicking me. He'd let me keep at it for a minute or two, then he'd start something again. A couple of times I did think he was starting to settle down, he'd heave a sigh and sort of plonk down on his side and even half close his eyes - but then he bounced back up again. I did get a couple of yawns too, which supposedly is also a good sign that a dog is settling into the massage, but they seemed more like precursors to finger chewing in Monster's case. The final time he seemed to settle down and relax he then started to cry - he did a sort of continuous whine/howl thing under his breath which sounded downright eerie. He didn't seem to be protesting the touch, he didn't seem to be in pain or even really unhappy (beyond the crying), but I still called it quits at that point. I'm at a loss here people. I'll probably keep trying, hopefully Monster will get better at relaxing and I'll get better at massaging. I did put the blankets down again in the same spot a few hours later and Monster came up to me right away and lay down, seemingly expectant. So he's presumably not traumatized at least... Still, we have a long way to go before we can compete with the Boxer Bliss!