Today's Sunshine

Today I've had the pleasure of seeing Monster deliberately make the right choice in several situations where we've met other dogs. He's chosen to turn around and walk the other way, without stress and without prompting or even reinforcement from me. Admittedly he did this at far greater distance than I'd like to think he could handle, but he's the boss in this case: as long as he does the right thing he gets to decide the when and where.

Hey, I felt comfortable...

Extra Sunshine

I just want to add the person we just encountered on a walk tonight as a bit of extra sunshine (sorely needed this time of year) today! Suddenly someone turned up behind us from an adjoining road in the dark, and as I tried to hurry along Monster needed to stop and contemplate nature for a while. The man and dog were closing in on us while I was frantically struggling to open a bag (why are they so impossible to find a way into - it's easier to break them than open them from the top!) and keep an eye on where Monster was crouching in the dark, not daring to call out to them to ask if they could please just wait a moment - since I know that's exactly what sends Monster (literally) barking mad at a nasty surprise in the dark. He hadn't yet spotted them approaching (well, he was busy after all) and I had a slight hope (vanishing quickly in my struggles with the resisting plastic bag) that we could still get away quickly enough. But whoever it was stopped at a distance and waited for us to finish! That's a kindness I've learned to not expect from most people, and certainly not unprompted! I was so happy and relieved (as was Monster, hehehe I'm soooo funny!), and called out a thank you as we managed to finish and started walking again. So nice! Whoever you were, thank you!

Wait... You mean someone was watching me!?

And Monster spotted them while I was searching through the dark (Must. Bring. Flashlight!) but stayed (relatively) calm! He didn't hesitate to turn his back on them and walk away, and while he did want to keep glancing behind us to check they weren't creeping up for a sneak attack he could also focus quite well on some impromptu obedience training instead. Great little five minutes in our day!

Today's Sunshine

Monster had a great time with The Kid yesterday! I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but The Kid and I have come up with Baking Tuesdays where I pick him up right after school and we spend the rest of the day and the evening baking something fun - anything from tiny cake pops to three tiered, heavily decorated cakes (obviously with some preparation ahead of time from me, since there's only so much you can do in one afternoon-evening). We've been doing it most of the fall semester and I thought back through the months today, and you wouldn't believe the difference there is in Monster from the start til yesterday! In the beginning it took lots of preparation, setting things up so not only he'd be fairly tired and content, but also so there were ways to manage him if (no, honestly, when) he became too rowdy, treats, games, training, etc. He loooooooves The Kid, but has problems handling it (same as all other emotions really), he'll jump and climb, demand attention, fetch 3000 toys, whine, paw, beg, and so on and so on. As we were busy doing things that interested us but bored him (he's not even allowed to taste what we bake after all) he'd build frustration all the way through and we really had to find ways to work around his behavior (The Kid - who is a wonderful person all around of course - is absolutely great with Monster, so patient (which is not a strong suit in general) and actually finds it fun and interesting to take some breaks and spend time with the crazy dog instead of finishing the cake!). But yesterday: nothing. Monster didn't jump once, didn't push or climb, didn't b- no that's not true, The Kid had a shrimp & egg sandwich so there was definitely some begging... And when we set up to start baking Monster watched for a while and then wandered off to another room to sleep! So relaxed! Sure we took some time outs to be with Monster anyway, but the difference is we could choose when and do it just because we wanted to, not because we had to if we wanted to be able to do anything else. The Kid even spent half an hour crawling around on the floor, wrestling and playing tug and being very physical with Monster, and Monster stayed controllable all the way through! While he certainly doesn't want to hurt The Kid he can get far too excited - very, very quickly - and become... less than gentle, let's say. Normally this kind of play is limited to a minute or two, and not too often either - I can play quite violently with him to push his boundaries and try to get him to learn to "land himself" (rather than having to be talked down by the control tower like in a bad 80s movie), but The Kid naturally needs to be a bit more protected. But like I said, yesterday there was no problem! And looking back, this is not an isolated incident where maybe Monster was having an extremely good day or perhaps was even sick or tired: this has been building up over the weeks and months in a very clear trend! Monster has been getting calmer and gaining better self control.

What!? What!? I can't hear you - wanna play!?

In no way is he a calm and self controlled dog. But he is calmer and he has better control. I really like little realizations like this when you can see such a clear pattern. Way to go Monster!

Today's Sunshine

First of all, Monster seems to be healing fine so far. I know it's way too early to rule out infection, but so far I'm cautiously optimistic at least. The scratches and punctures are all dry, and while they clearly itch he's not manic about it. We'll see where it's headed in the next few days...

In further good news we have the neighbor's dog over for a visit again today. Last time she was here was a bit stressful, because while she was out of the worst of her heat she still smelled veeeeeeery interesting according to Monster. I'm sorry, I can't remember if I've blogged about this...? Short recap: Tilly was visiting us regularly, sleeping over 3-4 nights/week, until about a month ago when she came for a three day/two night -stay and I discovered she'd gone into heat. Monster isn't hopeless around the ladies, but I don't really like covering his entire home with heat-scent since that gives him no place to relax. I told my neighbor he needed to make other arrangements for a while (she stayed the weekend of course, I mean after that) and we didn't meet Tilly for three weeks after that. Then she came again a week ago, and as I said already she still smelled of heat plus Monster hadn't met her for so long he was quite nervous of her again. That caused some stress for both dogs, and I had to control their space and freedom a bit to keep her visit as calm and pleasant as I could make it. Aaaaaaand, here I've managed to steer back to my original point again: much better now. It was probably still a bit early last time, but today Monster is used to her again plus she doesn't smell so much of heat (she's still interesting it seems, but he's much more relaxed about it).

Remember when the lawn looked like this instead of that miserable mud pit it is today?
We could run around and play then without sliding around like bumper cars...

So, back to normal! Well, sort of. Tilly's owner says she doesn't get noticeable false pregnancies after she's been in heat, but I don't know... She's tired and annoyed, doesn't want to play or even go for walks, and generally just wants to be left alone in some corner. To me she reads as if she's going into a strong false pregnancy (oh good lord! please, please let it be a false one! I didn't leave them alone together for a second once I realized she was in heat, and that was of course very early in the cycle, but when something can go wrong...), and I would like to know if I should consider that as normal or as a sign something is wrong. But I guess I should defer to her owner who knows her after all! I need to scale back on the control issues... If he says she's fine, and isn't experiencing a false pregnancy either, then so it is.

Anyway, going great! Monster's happy and relaxed, Tilly's... certainly relaxed at least, although I don't know about happy. Veeeeery relaxed maybe makes up for the lack of happy though?

Boooooo-riiiiiing! Let's go for a walk!

Oh god, I can hear the sleet as it beats against the windows....

Today's Sunshine

Today on a walk, I had Monster off leash and was throwing a stick for him (I know high energy activities like that can be very stressful and have a bad effect on reactivity, but I make sure to demand focus and self control in between throws, he has to be able to perform without signs of stress, and I limit it to a minute or two before he has to hand over the stick and we walk on). I threw it off to the side of the path we were on, into some long grass. Monster raced off to find it, and unfortunately it turned out I must have nearly brained a hare with that throw, because as he was sniffing around to find the stick in the grass, a hare jumped up right next to him and zig-zagged away! And I'm not talking "it couldn't have been more than 15-20 meters" next to him, no, I'm talking "it bumped into his hip as it jumped up" next to him. Literally. Today, Monster was tackled by a hare... I thought disaster had struck - sure, Monster's not a crazed hunter, and I know I can recall him from a hot trail, but everyone has their limit you know. In my minds eye I saw him galloping off toward the horizon. Instead, reality showed me this:

Dude! Would you knock it off!? I'm busy here!

(Obviously it's an old photo, but you get the idea.)
Monster has a marvelous way of absolutely not multitasking when his nose is switched to "on"; he was looking for a stick with my smell on it, the hare was clearly not a stick and smelled all wrong, so there was no reason for him to pay it any attention. While I gaped after the hare Monster found the stick and came bouncing back to me (to whack me in the thigh with it until I agreed to play tug, as per our usual routine), still completely unconcerned with the fleeing hare. That. Was. Awesome!

I know! See, I found the stick!

In other news, reason #4018 for why this place just doesn't feel like home no matter how many years I live here: wild animals aren't wild. Plus, they're really stupid. We have hares. deer, etc back home, but you can go years between seeing one even if you go out in the forest every day. Here they're everywhere, and they don't bother running away until long after it'd really be too late - if they bother running away at all. Plus they often stop to pose - to make sure we've really seen them and prepared ourselves to hunt them - before they set off... What is wrong with them?! This is not normal prey behavior! And it's not like they're not hunted here, every moron with 15 minutes to spare one Sunday a month calls himself a hunter... It drives me nuts, and not even just because of the unnecessary temptations for Monster, but mainly because it's so wrong. It's like the animals around here are broken... Someone broke the wildlife!

Today's Sunshine

Let me tell you something: I love being single. Love! It! And I know, a lot of people reading this are going to shake their heads and call me bitter, or maybe just in denial - because we're meant for that ideal fairytale pairing; it is the only way to truly find happiness! Yeah, right... Look, if you're in a relationship and you're happy, good for you. I'm happy for you! Still don't want it for myself though. And there are a lot of reasons why, but since this is a dog blog I have something specific in mind right now: because I live alone I don't have to explain and justify to anyone why there's a big inflatable double mattress taking up most of the floor space in the living room! (Yeah, one of those uncomfortable things you give to guests you don't want staying very long...) There's no argument over how sensible it is to have this big, ugly thing in the way for something as "silly" as dog exercise. Nope, all my decision. And it feels great!

[I meant to put a picture of Monster on the mattress here, but since the computer crash has led to me not having the software installed to process the photos right now an old, non-apropos photo will have to do.]

Just cause I'm pretty!

I bought one on sale, and I've inflated it just to the point where it keeps its shape but is still quite soft, and I have Monster move and perform on it. He is quite poorly muscled, especially in the rear, and that becomes a negative spiral where he puts more weight in the front because he's weak in the back, further underdeveloping his hind quarters. That's bad for him, and since we live where we live (no forests here, limited off leash opportunities, mostly roads to walk on, etc) I have to try to find an artificial way to force him to use his hind legs more and hopefully build some muscle. I can't tell you yet if it's working, but I can tell you that I truly appreciate the freedom to just do as I please and occupy a large part of the living room "just" to build a gym for my dog. Plus, when the exercise is over I can just plug it in and inflate it some more, ant it becomes a comfy (according to Monster) dog bed! Not sure how long it's going to put up with his claws, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it...

And not to send you to couples' therapy or anything, but... Think about it - don't you want a dog gym too?

If I run in the tall grass more, can we keep the mattress comfy all the time?!

Today's Sunshine

We've had an absolutely wonderful walk today, and in glorious weather! Not only was it a nice walk, but it provided us with some excellent training opportunities:

• We met a woman with a dog coming toward us on a path I meant to turn onto. Instead we walked a little ways away, and then I turned and led Monster back in a half circle around the meeting. This is a pair we see out and about fairly frequently, she's a power walker (good grief she moves fast) and has a large male Golden Retriever (I think) on a Flexi lead. He doesn't much like Monster (understandable) and they're a fairly difficult trigger for Monster. Today he had no problem turning away from them, engaging in other things as we circled around them (sniffing instead of staring), but was a bit interested in them (turned back to look several times) once we were back on the same path and moving away from each other. Not the smoothest passing in the history of dog walking, but with Monster's issues and his particular history with extreme reactions toward this particular dog it was downright marvelous. I'd estimate we were about... seven meters apart at the closest.
  
• We met a biker coming toward us on a narrow bike path (approximately 1.5 meters wide or so), Monster noticed it while it was still far away and became quite interested. When the bike was ~20-30 meters away I steered Monster to the side and stepped into the grass beside the path. Monster kept his attention on the bike, but kept moving forward. The bike passed without problems, I even looked up and said hi, and it was less than one meter away (with me in between Monster and the bike).
  
• As we turned a bend in the path we spotted a person walking toward his parked bike, who then led the bike around, got on, and started biking toward us. Since this was a bit more unusual (Monster likes things to be one thing or the other, not several things at once: a moving car is OK, a parked car is OK, a car that first moves and then stops is suspicious, for example) I not only stepped off the path, but also over the ditch to create more of a distance. It seems to me a lot - not all, but in at least some ways something like ~75% - of Monster's issues are linked not so much to distance as to borders. If he's on a road and you're on that same road, there's two of you but only one road: clearly you're going to kill him for stealing your road. Similarly, if both of you are in a fairly large field there's still just one field - conflict. But if we step off the road onto the shoulder: you have the road to yourself, and we have the shoulder. Fine, no conflict, and we can pass each other a lot closer than he'd be able to if we shared that large field. So in this case, with the "weird" biker (remember him?) we not only left the road, we stepped across a very clear separation (the ditch) between the road and the edge of a field. No conflict, the biker had the road to himself and therefore wasn't a threat... We passed each other calmly.
  
• As we got to the station some construction workers had blocked our usual path, and the only one open to us (other than turning back) led us quite close to a couple of guys working on a wall. I took Monster in a steady grip, kept my pace even, and led him straight past (Monster unfortunately on the side closest to the guys). One of the guys turned toward us, but I caught his eye and shook my head as I gently praised Monster - and we walked straight past!
  
• Final one: We walked through a neighboring village when a car came driving up behind us veeeeery slowly, with something-or-other screaming bloody murder inside the engine (or wherever: what I know about cars you could fit onto a stamp!). I thought there was no way Monster would be able to handle it, but he looked up at me with a slightly anxious look and I calmly (faked! so, so faked!) praised him and told him to keep walking. Which he did! Only the car just passed us and then it stopped... It turned out to be a service van for... err... one of the electricity-thing-boxes-whatever you see on some streets? And a couple of men got out and started to unload a bunch of tools. It was a very narrow street, and big men loudly handling strange tools are close to the worst thing Monster can think of (the two top things on the list are: 1) Anyone Mom's angry with; and 2) A man walking toward us with angry voice). I'd stopped as soon as the car stopped ahead of us, to evaluate the situation and decide how to handle it, but it was clear that they wouldn't be moving any time soon... So, for whatever reason I decided the situation was manageable and we set off walking forward again. As we drew level to the car Monster was less than half a meter away from the nearest man (with me in between) - who turned toward us and said "That's not a small dog!"... I mumbled something (I have no idea what I said) without taking my eyes off Monster, every hair on my body was literally on end - very weird feeling! - I was so tense, and just kept walking past. No problem! Super cool Monster! Well, maybe not cool exactly. But instead something far more important: concerned, but looking to me for guidance! Wow. What a feeling! I think I bounced on happy clouds all the way home...

(And to everyone claiming dogs can "psychically" feel how you feel, and if you have a reactive dog that's just because you are projecting nervousness and in order to have a calm dog you need to be calm: that's not true. Not only is it not how you feel but instead how you act, it's actually perfectly possible to have a reactive dog if you're half asleep and about as revved up as Eeyore. And you can totally fake calm. Don't tell people to relax, stop shortening the leash around triggers, stop scanning  for potential surprises, and so on. I hate that advise! It's dangerous to give a reactive dog a slack leash, it's dangerous to not pay attention and get a surprise. A dog's behavior is not in the head of the owner! A dog is its own living, thinking being, and while our behavior (note behavior; not beta waves) can certainly affect theirs, they're not an extension of our own consciousness. There is a lot of ridiculous advice out there (usually from people who once had a teenaged dog act up once or twice which they then "fixed" due to their exceptional dogsmanship... yeah, right, pull the other one...) and a lot of it is certainly quite harmful, but this type of advice is the most tiresome. Acting calm is important, but feeling calm isn't. If you have a dog like Monster you have good reason to not feel the least bit calm, and you don't need to work on meditation, calm breathing, or any of that - not unless you can't separate your feelings and you actions. On the contrary, not feeling calm keeps you alert. I say, fight the calm nazis!)

Dude. Chill! Want a taste of my stick?

 And really. What is it with people and the weird size comments!? I know I'm not alone (I found an old blog post from another CC-owner listing strange comments and questions he'd heard on walks), so apparently a lot of people feel the need to comment on a CC's size (and probably other large breeds too?). "That's not a small dog!", "What a big dog!", "That's just a puppy, right? hehehe", "Where's that dog going to walk you?", "What's that Great Dane mixed with - a horse?", "Are you sure you're feeding that thing enough?", "Couldn't you find one in a bigger size?", "Do you have an elephant farm?", "Look at the tiny puppy!", "Oh, aren't you just a precious little doll?", and so on, and so on... Why? Is it an expression of discomfort, they're afraid of him and try to find safety in humor? Because he's smaller than a Great Dane, for instance... I honestly find it a bit weird.

As long as they note my beauty, it's all good with me.

Today's Sunshine

Since we haven't been doing much there isn't much to talk about, but I can at least say I'm so happy Monster enjoys nose work so much! I have managed to spend some time with him outside to search for hidden items in the garden, and it's always nice to see how much fun it is for him. He may not have the most efficient search pattern (he does a very cursory sweep of the area at first before settling down to search more carefully - not necessarily a bad idea in case that would ever get him anywhere, but I don't think he ever manages to cut any corners), and he is perhaps more enthusiastic than thorough, but it's absolutely great to see him work through piles of rubble and try to climb up trees to find a little plastic coaster! And he does it even with fairly big distractions around. If my headache wasn't so bad I'd have laughed out loud just from happiness at seeing him work (and he's so enthusiastic! it doesn't matter to him that he's been asked to search through a dozen or more dead ends - he sure it's going to be in the next place we look). He's the most amazing dog I could ever imagine having.

*sniff*   *sniff*   *sniiiiiiiiff*   ... Yeah, we're definitely getting closer!

Today's Sunshine

Today has turned out better than I dared to hope yesterday. Monster is certainly a bit more tense, he's very alert and reacts to any unexpected noise (we're talking bird song levels here, not car alarms), but it's not the disaster I expected. In fact, on a walk today we met a large man on the road, dressed in a huge jacket and carrying some sort of tool - that's a lot of danger for Monster. I probably should have turned right around and gotten out of there, but I kept an eye on Monster and kept walking instead... He was quite interested in the man, and I could tell he was getting closer to the edge where curiosity would turn into something else, but he was holding it together. When we got close to passing the man I gently steered Monster a little to the side, out on the grass shoulder, and encouraged him to keep walking. No doubt I was very rude to the man as I wouldn't take my focus off Monster for even a second to look up and say hi, but I really needed all my attention on Monster right then. And we did it! Monster walked right past without a single warning sign; no stiff legs, no staring (but certainly a lot of looking, which is a different thing), no tension in his face, nothing!

I earned this carrot, people!

Unfortunately, maybe ten seconds after we'd passed each other the man turned around (forgotten something?) and started following us. This is not good, and I so didn't want to end that success with a miserable failure! After a moments hesitation I decided to turn back with Monster too and pass the man again - better to deal with it quickly than let tension build and make it even worse. (As I'm sure you know people walking dogs (on leash) walk slower than people walking alone, because dogs do a lot of quick pauses along the way, so the man would have caught up with us.) So I turned Monster around in a small circle - winding up with him closer to the man on the road than I was - and started walking back, this time praising him nonstop (I usually keep quiet in most tense situations, since even encouragement can tip Monster over) - his body language was flickering between tense and playful, and I tried to encourage the playful side by using voice and words usually used in high energy training. It was a gamble, but it payed off. Monster walked right past the man again! A day of miracles... Of course, then the man turned back around again!

. . .

No, just kidding! He walked off, and we kept walking the same direction for half a minute or so before we turned back around again and continued our walk. You know, my family is into extreme sports, like scary movies and so on, which I just don't get. They think my life is boring. Hah! My adrenal glands get all the exercise they need, believe me...

Well, you named me Monster...

Today's Sunshine

Alright, let's give this a go anyway... I've spent a lot of time since the last post just playing with Monster, both to use up some of his nervous energy and to try to make sure he associates me being physical with him with fun and games, rather than with stress and conflict. I don't know how well the second part's working, but I think I got the first one down. He's now conked out on the couch next to me, he's eaten (always a good sign with regards to his stress levels), and he's ignoring sounds from the outside.

Don't type so loud, I'm trying to sleep here!

We haven't been playing any "useful" games at all (i.e. training games), just high energy goofing around, lots of wrestling, jumping around on the furniture, playing tug, and "ambush the thief"*. He's shown some clear signs of being uncomfortable around me, like when he sees me coming and he's doing something he shouldn't (like stealing the new sheets from the bags in the hall, in order to shred them...) he's displayed evasion and pacification. Since I know where his "bad behavior" is coming from, and he can't really help himself (the tension needs to be released somehow!), I've told myself that no matter what he takes it into his head to do I'll let him - or even loot the bags with him - as long as he doesn't get into something that would be harmful to him. Today is not a day for teaching or enforcing rules and good behavior. So what if I have to buy new stuff (or do without): Monster comes first! Priority one is getting back to normal, until then special rules apply. (And yes, I'm aware that there will be some setbacks in basic good behavior around the house once things are back to normal. Worth it.) We've also been for another (fairly short) walk, and I did my best to be fun and engaging for most of it - and he seemed (it's quite dark out, so reading more than basic posture - if that - is difficult) to enjoy himself. We didn't see anyone else - and if we had I would have turned and ran for the hills, no more triggers today! (And the closest hills are an hour's drive away, so that would have been some solid exercise...)

Woohoo, let's wrestle some more!

All in all, I think I've done the best I could to quickly right the ship. Let's see how it plays out over the next few days... In other - but possibly related - news, I got a desperate craving for salt, and wound up eating about a spoonful or two of table salt! Weird... Straight away I started feeling a lot less weak and off kilter. Anyone got a clue what that's about?


(* A game where Monster "steals" something - it can be absolutely anything, including his own toys, the difference is in how he behaves with the thing he has: when he's a "thief" he splays out his legs, looks at me over his shoulder, runs off with sort of straight legs (think Monty Python and silly walks), and blows loudly through his nose. Then I "angrily" stomp-runs after him for a few steps, until he's far enough away to not see as I turn and hide behind some corner. That's the ambush... Monster will come sneaking back - "stolen" item and all - and caaaaaaarefully walk around the corner where (he knows) I'm waiting to jump out at him. And I chase him for a few seconds, and usually set up a new ambush again. He loves this game (if I wasn't so mature and sensible I'd love it too), and it usually ends with him circling around me and hitting me with the thing he "stole", until I'll get down on the floor and wrestle with him for a bit.

You'll never catch me!

It's a lot of fun, and I believe(?) that the over the top threatening behavior from me is good for his confidence around people. I know he's (usually) not scared of me, but he finds it very difficult to be around people who are arguing for example... Who knows. I'm doing the best I can.)

(Over)Confidence, Revisited

First of all, that quote in my last post? That's what's called an ugly quote, as in I never read the source I just thought it sounded good/on point when I happened to stumble across it. I was looking for a Pratchett quote about hubris, but I couldn't find it (and can't remember which book/character it was from). I do read Pratchett. (Religiously.) Still can't Google up the quote though... Let's go with another one of his, just because.
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
(Terry Pratchett)
This is not a quote about hubris, since cats just keep getting away with it...

As, it turns out, do I. So far... I find it hard to evaluate my actions and choices in regards to Monster's freedom, what is the right choice after all? Since I do keep "getting away with it", perhaps I'm overvaluating the risk? Or is it just chance, setting me up for a big fall?

Err... Whuh?

Last night Mom wanted to go berry picking again. Fortunately(?) as I arrived at their place with Monster a guest on a bike (Monster: "RRRRAAAAAAARRRGH! An ENEMY!") arrived at the same time, and Mom got a good demonstration of how I actually am not "constantly exaggerating" Monster's problems. To the point of asking me if I perhaps shouldn't leave him at home while we went to the forest... I patiently (well...) explained to her that absolutely nothing had changed from yesterday, or any other day when she blithely ignores my concerns on risk management with regards to Monster and thinks he should basically be allowed to run around free. And acts on it, if I don't keep a careful eye on her! Since he was no more dangerous after her seeing him react to the biker (as opposed to hearing me tell her about him reacting to something), her concerns should be no greater than before. Monster hadn't changed at all. With this he came along, and Dory too. This time I was however more successful in getting Mom to move further from the road (also helped by us going to a different spot, where the terrain was easier for her to navigate), which was a relief for me. The evening passed without incident - a couple of times Monster perked up toward the road and started to move toward it with interest, but he turned away immediately when I called him. Dory was very much getting on my bad side however, since she kept trying to lure him away! Following a path through the forest for a couple of minutes would lead to a couple of houses with dogs outside, and Dory quickly ran off to visit them (Mom: "... She'll come back eventually." Me: "!"). She did indeed come back (dogs howling and barking in the distance, to Monster's fascination), but only to fetch Monster. She ran around him in invitation and got him to follow her down the path, but! He wouldn't go more than 70-80 meters or so (after stopping them a couple of times I allowed it to see what would happen - hubris again, right?), when he reached the "too far" line - as decided by him - he sat promptly down and refused to take another step no matter what Dory did. When she eventually ran off without him again he started barking in frustration and running around, but he would not follow her! How about that...?

That's cause I'm a Good Boy.

Today, on our daily walk down to my parents' house, we encountered yet another chance for me to make the wrong, risky choice. Of course I took it! As we came around a bend in the road we spotted a deer in a field (150-200 meters away). Monster was off leash and noticed the deer a little after me, but I chose to not distract and leash him even though I had the option (probably). As the deer noticed us, and we kept moving towards it, it turned and walked into the forest behind the field. Monster, by then perhaps 20-30 meters ahead of me, picked up speed, his body tense, head high, tail rigid and upright. I let him go. Could I have called him back at this point? I think so now, and I thought so then. But I wanted a greater distraction, I wanted a test... Monster was running ahead, toward where he'd seen the deer disappear, and I could see the instant he crossed the scent trail - if he'd been running before he started racing now. I still let him go. He followed the trail into the woods, running flat out and completely fixated on the hunt, and when I couldn't see him any more I called out once, turned and walked away...

Did you think this through?

... And was instantly rewarded with an almighty crash behind me, as Monster immediately took the most direct route toward the sound of my voice (I'm guessing), and rather than retracing his steps through easier terrain just barged through bushes and small trees instead. He came literally thundering up behind me, covered in branches and leaves! Happy with this success I immediately proceeded to test him further (of course! why not end in defeat?), and turned around again and set off on a course where we'd cross the deer's trail quite close to where we'd seen it disappear. Monster still off leash. As we came to the spot Monster again became agitated, sniffing around, craning his head toward the forest edge, stepping in place and looking toward me. I didn't interact with him at all, just kept walking past. And Monster just dropped it, followed me and was as relaxed and responsive as before the whole thing. That's something, right?

(To be clear: the deer walked away quite calmly - for a deer - and had a good head start. If it had run off, if I had thought there was any risk of Monster getting very close, if it had set off across open terrain instead of into the forest, or if in some other way I had judged there was a risk of severely stressing the animal, I would have (attempted to?) stopped Monster from engaging. I do not think the world is around to serve our/my needs, I do not think I can make others "pay" for Monster's "gain". I made two judgments, the first that the deer was in no risk from Monster's pursuit, and the second that I could stop Monster from prolonging the pursuit beyond the point where I felt I had a good overview of the situation. You may well judge me as having put the deer at risk anyway, and I'll have to live with that, but I did believe at the time that I had the situation under control. I do believe in retrospect that I did not cause any harm to the deer beyond the initial alarm on seeing us approach - and that's unavoidable whether leashed or not.)

Down south where we live, the stupid animals hang around staring at us until we're just 10-20 meters away - or less - before they go running off in a panic across wide open fields. In that situation Monster would never be allowed off leash to begin with, much less allowed to pursue.

So. Did I do the right thing? Was it a horrible mistake? The result would (perhaps?) indicate I evaluated the situation correctly... I thought I could recall Monster from a hunt situation, and I succeeded. I thought even at a distance of a couple of hundred meters, out of sight, and more or less wholly engrossed in a strong behavior (tracking/hunting/pursuing), Monster would respond to my recall. Well, he did. I thought that even when seriously revved up by the experience, rather than it drawing him back to it again he would let it go when I showed no interest to engage in it with him. He did. So I walked away with a confirmation of my expectations. But the question I'm stuck with is whether or not that's actually a good thing?

Why not?

Because adding to my confidence levels, both in my control over Monster and in my ability to judge my control over Monster, could after all lead to disaster down the line, right? There is a line between training and real world we all have to cross eventually, in most of our training. There is only so much "controlled environment exercise" you can do successfully, before it becomes time to (gradually) move it out of that environment. (Unless you're content with staying there, but few of us are I think.) I have zero ambition to walk Monster off leash in for example a city environment, but I do want to be able to let him off the leash in less stressful surroundings. In order to get there, I have to let go of the leash. But when? Where? How? I don't want Monster to be a threat to others. I don't want him to even frighten others (within reason; people getting upset at the mere sight of a calm, leashed dog some distance away can just learn to deal with their own problems, frankly). I think I have sufficient control over him off leash in order to be moving carefully across that line into the real world (while still staying in a very unchallenging environment), but how do you know? Well, I know the answer to that: you don't. You can only try to be objective and responsible, and keep evaluating as you go. Right? But for something like off leash control, the 80% rule doesn't really apply I think. You need to be much closer to 100%. But you never actually reach 100% though! You can never know with absolute certainty how a situation will develop or how your dog will respond, the best you can do is "fairly sure". (No matter what some people will tell you! No one can guarantee their dog's absolute obedience in any situation, it's simply not possible. And quite frankly, anyone who makes that sort of claim is someone I'd steer quite clear of, as it to me reeks of poor judgment and lack of responsibility.) And for a lot of people, even less than that is quite acceptable (at least to them); they have dogs they don't need to control all that closely, as they're perhaps small, cute, with zero interest in other people or animals... Monster is interested. And while I think he's about the most adorable creature who ever lived, not everyone shares that view of him. He's certainly not small. I need to have him under control. But at which point is he under sufficient control?

Just how much harder do you want me to work, really?

If I thought he was actually dangerous, he'd be permanently leashed. But I don't. If I thought he'd run off from me to confront someone we came across, he'd be leashed (perhaps permanently, but I'd at least try to work on that). But I don't. If I thought he'd go after the wildlife, he'd be leashed. But I don't. My assumptions in these things have been tested (1 by meeting a man on a close path, Monster barked at him but returned to me when called; 2 by walking past people picking berries in the woods by the road before I realized they were there; 3 by getting called off the hunt today), but that's not really proof of anything more than success in those specific situations. Sure, it's also good indications of reliability of behavior, but it's not proof. Proof can not be had. So. What to do? Do I (try to) rein myself in, or do I trust myself more? Because it's not like I'm impartial after all. No matter how hard I try to objectively evaluate myself, Monster, results, etc, I am also always driven by ambition. I want a specific result. How much am I influenced by that in my evaluations?

Don't you trust me?

Teach, you need to teleport up here and help us out! An objective view is sorely needed. I'm all alone up here... ("Try a shock collar!" I was told today. And then they stop listening when I patiently(?) try to explain why that's a terrible idea.)

What's that now? "Shock collar"? Fine with me - I'm the one holding the remote and they're the ones wearing the collar, right?

I would like to try some setups, I think... I would like to encounter people (with and without dogs) at various distances, moving and standing still, in our path and off to the side... But there is no one here to ask - no one who wouldn't use aggression and intimidation on Monster if he should approach them. And that's not a variation of setup I feel ready for. Not because I'm sure it would go badly - I'd estimate perhaps 80% certainty that I'd still be able to call him away - but because it's a somewhat higher risk, and most of all because it's not the kind of experience which will aid Monster's progress...

Nah, what could possibly go wrong?! I'm a very stable dude! No bad experiences are going to influence me...

And since quoting Pratchett is a lot like that proverbial popcorn eating, here are a couple more I couldn't help myself from cramming in here...

A difference I often observe in traditional vs. positive dog trainers:
"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to those who think they’ve found it."
(Terry Pratchett)

And something for all of us to keep in mind:
"Sooner or later we're all someone's dog"
(Terry Pratchett)

 I had to put them last so I could stop myself from just writing more and more by quickly pressing "publ

"Hubris Calls for Nemesis...

... and in one form or another it's going to get it, not as a punishment from outside but as the completion of a pattern already started."
(Mary Midgley)

We're enjoying the (comparative) freedom up here, Monster running around free of the leash every day - something he never gets to do back home - and me laughing at his antics and finding pleasure in how responsive and focused on me he is. But... The reason he gets to run around off leash is because there's a much (much!) smaller risk of encountering anyone else on our walks (animal, human or vehicle). The reason is not because I think he's magically "cured" here. In other words, I'm relying on the environment to accommodate his issues. But how does it affect me that it does? Because Monster has been off leash daily since we got here, for hours, and every time all goes well. I find myself expecting it to go well, taking greater and greater risks. And naming the beast ("hubris") does not seem to grant me control over it...

Woohoo, why would you want control!?

 


Last night Mom (my mom; Monstermom's mom - this alias business can get confusing if you don't think things through before you set them apparently) wanted to go out and pick some berries. Since she has trouble with her hips and can't negotiate off road terrain very well we needed to stick very close to civilization. We brought her dog Dory and Monster along (I shouldn't have agreed to this, she has zero control over her and while Dory's quite friendly to others she will approach them, and Monster tends to follow her around everywhere). I kept wanting to move further from the road - Mom could stay where she was, a mere two-three meters from the road, but I wanted to take the dogs further into the forest so I could have some time to react in case someone turned up on the road - but Dory would stay with Mom and Monster would drift back toward them over and over again. Instead of realizing that the situation was out of control and calling it quits (leaving or putting one or both dogs in the car), I just muttered, rolled my eyes, or something equally constructive, and just kept at it. I picked berries and kept half an eye on Monster, calling him back to me if I felt he strayed too far but accepting that he was quite a bit closer to the road than I was. And eventually what I knew/ should have known would happen, did happen. A man who walks his (reactive) dog along that road every evening, walked his dog along that road this evening as well. Who'd a thunk it!? I noticed both dogs perking up and taking an interest in the road, Dory setting off for it with Monster close behind. I couldn't see what they were reacting to but let out a loud "YIP!" (my sadly halfassed "emergency recall", nowhere near as well trained and religiously reinforced as it should be, as well as being way, waaaaaaaay overused) to call Monster back - and he turned on the spot, thundering back to me with ears and jowls flapping in the wind! Perhaps he hadn't realized there was someone on the road, simply following his friend's interest rather than being interested himself? But no, when I recalled Monster the man approaching us called out to us too, to inform us he was coming up on us with a dog. I saw Monster notice his voice, but while he glanced in that direction he didn't hesitate for even half a step. He ran straight to me, and sat down at my feet when asked. Of course, as soon as I clipped the leash on him he lost the plot completely, lunging and raging at the man and dog passing by (by then visible from where I was standing too). So what does this mean? Was it a good thing or a bad thing? Well, good things:

• Monster showed a near perfect response to recall, to the point of leaving his friend who was running in the opposite direction
• He showed zero aggression while off leash
• Even with a fairly strong distraction (the man calling out to us) Monster remained focused on me
• While he was by then tense, staring at the man and dog visible on the road, he allowed me to clip the leash on
• ... I suppose it could be a good thing Mom got to see Monster's bad side, as she generally tends to think I'm exaggerating the problem (and takes him out for walks if I'm not looking!) ?

Not so good things:

• As soon as he was on leash he tried really hard to live up to his name
• My complete lack of judgment, putting us in the situation to begin with
• It took some time to calm him back down again
• The good points above

Wait, what? Why are the good points bad? Well, here we return to the point of this post: hubris. It all went well after all, right? Even in this potentially disastrous situation it was an utter piece of cake to control Monster! Surely I can relax and allow us both greater freedoms - what problems there may be, I can handle. Right? Right, let's go for that date with Nemesis right away, shall we?

Bah! I ain't scared!

But the problem is as I've already said, even though I can see my own hubris I can't control it. I think it's driven as much by desire as success, in that I want Monster to have more freedom so what successes we find have a squared effect on me. A lot of people with a fairly limited experience with reactive dogs (as in they used to have/know a dog who lunged on leash, they tried something or other and the "problem" stopped - they must be masterful dog trainers! ... I used to be one of those "helpful" know it alls...) will claim that the greater part of the problem is the handler's expectations - you expect the dog to react negatively and convey this with your body language, thus causing the dog to react negatively. I'm sure there's some truth to this, but with so many other things it's greatly exaggerated. I expect Monster to do splendidly, I really do. Every time we have a failed encounter of some kind, I'm surprised. The (or at least a) definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result; this may be slightly different in someone else (Monster) keeps doing the same thing in the same situation (reacting with demonstrative aggression to triggers) and I never expect it, but I think it could work as a definition too... I've been aware of this ridiculous optimism before (I consider myself a skeptic by nature while those around me describe me as a gloomy pessimist, so it's rather glaringly out of character), but now! Things just keep going well, even in situations where I find myself breathing a sigh of relief afterwards when I think about all that could have gone wrong, nothing does go wrong. So this stubborn streak of overestimation of chances, underestimation of risks just gets encouraged.

Good!

Maybe you're wondering why that's even a problem, since things are after all going well? See the quote up top. While I'm strangely optimistic in the moment I am aware of Monster's issues being quite real when I'm not in the moment (and usually about .0001 seconds into the moment as well). He is insecure around strangers, he does use aggression to get distance from triggers when he's restrained, and I don't have sufficient control over him to safely have him off leash around strong distractions - he's barely even trained at all around distractions, after all. So I'm taking risks I shouldn't. And I do it anyway. Admitting you have a problem may be the first step towards solving the problem, but it's not a very big step, is it?

I think you're exaggerating these so called "risks". And MonsterGran's with me on this!

I've been meaning to film a walk we take daily, a short one around half an hour, along a fairly deserted road (from the cottage where we're staying to my parent's house) - I realize it's about as boring a film as anyone (other than me) could ever see, but hey, my blog remember? I want to see/show how well he listens to me off leash, how far he ranges from me, how well he responds to recall and other commands, and, perhaps most of all, how well I pay attention to him and encourage good behavior (like checking in). Today I did, and of course it turned out not very typical at all! For one thing Monster was quite bad at keeping the "by me" command (a very loose "heel", where he just needs to keep kinda, sorta by my side), something I've been very happy with so far. But today, nope, wouldn't stay by me for more than a couple of seconds at a time... Maybe that's just because I had to make a more objective evaluation of his behavior, now that I have video evidence? But I don't think so, Monster has truly been performing "by me" in an exemplary way up here, I've been using it a lot (instead of leashing him around blind corners or cross roads, where I usually would) and I've been paying close attention to his performance. On this point I think we were simply having a bad day... Or!? Idea... Perhaps I wasn't communicating with him as well as usual, with my attention (at least partially) on the camera all the time? Was he simply responding to/mirroring my distraction?

I can't see you!

Another thing I reacted to was how much I used corrections with him, and this may genuinely be something I'm guilty of and didn't know before I found a new way of observing myself... Or, possibly it's another effect of being unfocused, defaulting back to old behaviors? Maybe a bit of both. Something to pay more attention to, in any case. (The corrections I'm talking about are simply verbal corrections, lowering my pitch slightly if he doesn't listen or breaks position, sharpen a command to stay if he doesn't stop right away, that sort of thing. From what I can tell it didn't have much of an effect but they were automatic and not something I was doing deliberately. At no point did I use anything stronger than verbal corrections, but I did natter on with those quite a lot...)

I tell you to: STOP! that nonsense...

I also meant to show/see how often I missed Monster seeking contact with me, by a glance or simply by angling his ears back to check for me (he spends most of the time ranging ahead). I mean to encourage all such contact, but I think I miss a lot of it. But today there were few glances (and I think I caught most of them - although I was quite late on many of them), and he kept his ears trained on me more or less nonstop! Perhaps this also was due to the activity of filming him changing my general behavior?

Hellooooo? Anybody home?!

On top of this, we wound up with a couple of surprises along the way. First it turned out there were people picking berries beside the road, Monster was behaving a little "off", showing me he was picking up on something, but I didn't figure out what it was until we came across their ATV parked on the side of the road. Monster didn't leave the road and seek them out, which is of course great - I've wondered if he'd be confrontational if we'd come across pickers ("gatherers"?), especially in areas we visit every day where he can be expected to feel slightly more at home, since there are quite a few of them to be found in the area at this time of year (I've been picking mountains of chanterelles myself, yum!), so I'm happy to see he stayed with me. Maybe he didn't notice them? No, I think he certainly did, as I knew he was reacting to something before I spotted the ATV.

There's something going on over there...

And immediately after we'd inspected the ATV (I let Monster walk up to it and take a look, as all changes and new things are a problem for him) we met a woman walking a dog coming toward us. I don't know if Monster noticed them, I'm fairly sure he didn't (I haven't watched that far on the video yet, maybe I can tell from that), but by then he was on leash already - I leashed him when we spotted the ATV - and he turned immediately when I told him we were going back. We headed off road slightly and let the woman and dog pass by, by then I know he at least saw her (we also called out a greeting to each other) but I don't think he could see the dog over the tall ferns. Either way he handled it very well, calmly curious more than anything else, although he was a bit eager to sniff their trail as we moved up on the road again.

We should be walking in the other direction if we're to catch up with them...

So not our regular walk after all. But probably not an interesting show for anyone (else), I do realize that! Still, that wouldn't keep me from posting it... But it turns out to be completely impossible, since it would take about a day - or more - to upload it, and would use up a lot more than the monthly GB allotment this Internet connection allows! So, you will tragically have to wait for this riveting watch until we return to civilization.

Poor you! I'm so photogenic!

And on that note, it's time to leave you. (Apparently the cows have gone through the fence again. How fun.) A final word of wisdom: enjoy your Internet connections - you don't know how good you have it...

The cows? They're loose!? I'm staying right here until you've fenced them in again...

(Disclaimer: this is a fairly long text - sorry about that - and I haven't the time to read through it for mistakes or off topic - hah! - so it's quite possibly even more unreadable than usual. And there aren't even any new Monster pics to sweeten things up, thanks to the dearth of Internet here. But, you know, the cows are loose, deal with it.)

Today's Sunshine

We've spent a fair bit of time in the garden today, just hanging out (the weeds are mocking me, but honestly who cares if they get to live another day). Occasionally people would pass by outside our hedge, but by now the greenery has grown enough to obscure most of the view and Monster often didn't seem to even notice them, and when he did they were basically already past us and he had little to no time to react before they were gone again. However a man walked by leading a bike (it's a steep hill) and talking loudly on his cell phone, so naturally Monster noticed him in plenty of time and positioned himself in a gap in the hedge (a plant has died, I must remember to replace it) and sort of wound up to tell the man off. Tense body, hackles slightly raised, up on his toes, muttering a bit. But as the man ignored him completely nothing came of it, and Monster started to relax again.

That's right, mister! You don't want to mess with this...

Unfortunately as he was watching the man walk away he spotted someone else heading toward him instead (I was sitting where I couldn't see out on the street, but I had no difficulty reading Monster's body language). A couple walking a slightly upset dog was approaching. I let Monster watch them (bouncing slightly and making his protesting but-but-but noise, winding up but not yet ready to explode) until they were just on the other side of the hedge from him - since if I successfully called him away before they were at the most "dangerous" point he would just break when they got there (unless I'd catch and hold him, which would be counter productive) - and tried to catch his attention just as he was about to start a fence attack. I called his name and asked him "Where's the ball!?", as I've been trying to reward him with play whenever someone passes by the fence. I could see that he was conflicted, he wavered between me and the problem in the street several times (it's awesome to have a dog with a coat and build like Monster's, I can see every muscle shift and read what's going on) but after a second or two he raced over to the ball, tripping over it in his eagerness, and ran back with it to me (and slammed into me quite hard, the little darling) so we could play! That was him making a choice, and while he was seriously ramped up he took that energy and used it in play with me instead of in reaction to the triggers!

THROW THE BALL!!!!!

Today's Sunshine

Our walk this morning turned out quite interesting. My foot was bothering me and I wanted to keep the walk fairly short and on level ground, leaving two of our usual routes (one circling the outskirts of the village and another winding round the countryside) out of the question since they involve too much walking up and down hills. We have another regular walk (Monster's reactivity requires specific qualities from our routes, like predictability, no or at least few blind corners, regular escape routes in case we get cornered, and so on) but it's incredibly boring, not to mention we've walked it a lot these past couple of months while my leg's been complaining. So I made a somewhat reckless decision and headed off along the road cutting through the centre (such as it is) of the village instead...

Woohoo, I hardly ever get to walk here!

At first all was very quiet, but soon we came across the first potential problem. A woman with a baby carriage left her house across the street and headed out onto the sidewalk. Monster looked at her... and looked away! But then we came to the church, which is having a lot of work done to and around it right now. There were two young women riding around raking the gravel with a lawnmower across the road, and closer to us a man was using a lawnmower in the more conventional way in the graveyard. Up in the tower a couple of guys were shouting at each other over whatever noisy tools they were using. There was no side of the road with nothing happening, and honestly I should have just turned back but I didn't. Monster has a huge problem with lawnmowers, attacking our own with suicidal frenzy... But I let him watch, moving slowly forward at a pace he seemed able to handle, and while he had a couple of moments of fixation he was able to snap out of it and move on with very little prompting from me. Quicker than I could have expected, we'd passed the church! Then we came to a pasture where someone keeps miniature ponies (don't ask me what kind, "brown" is as good a description you'll get from me)...

Wait... Are you saying those weren't dogs!? They were smaller than me!

They proved to be quite a challenge for Monster, he needed to stop and study them repeatedly as we moved along the fence. One of the ponies became interested in us and came up to the fence to take a closer look, which fixated Monster. After a moment or two I became concerned he'd break and lunge, frightening the horse (at no point was he close enough to actually do anything) and I made the mistake of trying to pull him away. That was of course very much the wrong thing to do, and Monster started barking and protesting (the pony looking at us didn't change his curious body posture and the others continued grazing, so Monster's behaviour didn't appear to read as very threatening - presumably they're used to barking dogs since they're pastured in the village along the main road). I immediately relaxed the leash and praised him, and he relaxed right away. We moved on away from there, but Monster needed to stop and look back a couple of times at first (the strange dogs could be following us after all). Then our walk was uneventful for a while, until a man exited his house with a toddler and started walking toward us. I decided we'd had enough excitement, and I didn't want to risk Monster frightening the child so we turned back to avoid meeting them. Of course now we'd have to walk past the same triggers again, only this time with someone coming up behind us so we couldn't keep our own pace...

You didn't think this through, did you?

We passed by the pasture on the other side of the road. Monster wanted to stop and study the horses several times, but I encouraged him to walk along right away since I knew we'd probably need all the head start we had once we got to the church. You know, the church with no safe sides to the road... We got there, and it was worse than when we walked by the first time. Now one of the women was crouched down on the gravel (pulling up weeds?), the riding mower was much closer to the road, the other mower was right on the curb, a car was parked with two men unloading building equipment, and as I stood there looking another car drove up behind us and stopped right in the middle of the road to unhitch a trailer. Behind us the father and child were catching up. We walked forward, and I kept a close eye on Monster all the way. He was very interested in all of it, and I made sure to both keep him close and not tighten the leash, and I praised him constantly - and made sure to do it loudly and in a very silly voice, so people could notice I was coming up on them with a dog who maybe was uncomfortable in the situation. We walked right past!

Of course we did, what did you expect!?

Half a minute later we met two women walking toward us. I immediately changed to the other side of the road but kept walking. In retrospect I wonder if I should have stopped and let Monster study them - he often shows greater reactivity when he's standing still, he appears to feel more vulnerable when he isn't moving as well as it giving him more time to wind up, but on the other hand he can accept a lot more if he's given a chance to study a trigger and figure out if it's really a threat... Right choice or not, this time he broke. As the women drew parallel with us, he lunged and barked and bounced straight up into the air. Fortunately they were more surprised and amazed than frightened, and simply called out a greeting and moved on. As soon as they had their backs turned Monster let it go.

They looked suspicious if you ask me...

Almost home... But no, one last problem. As we were passing a house a dog ran out at us, barking and growling, bouncing back at the end of its line. And not only that, but it was a German Shepherd! Shepherds are Monster's nightmare, he's been attacked by enough of them to consider them all very dangerous... As the dog appeared (scaring even me with its sudden "attack") Monster started to square up against it, but then I saw him change his mind in the middle of the motion and instead turn back along the road and start running away! Now, you may think that's a bad thing but I completely disagree. I want Monster to take the cowardly choice, if there's an escape he should take it! The old Monster would choose confrontation every time, escaping is preferred by far. Unfortunately running isn't so easy for me, messed up ankle and all, but I really tried to reward his choice by letting him run. I didn't make it many steps but it seemed to be enough for Monster anyway, he relaxed even though the dog was still frantic behind us. After that it was smooth sailing all the way back home.

Wanna go again!?!

While he couldn't handle every situation flawlessly, I can't even imagine what would have happened in even one of these encounters just a few months ago. Monster may not be an easy dog to live with, and we may have a lot of restrictions on our daily activities, but for me an experience like this walk is priceless. He's doing so well!

Thank god there weren't any cats, or the whole thing would have been a disaster...