Today's Sunshine

Today is one of those rough days when I just can't find a positive... Not that everything is abject misery, it's just... Nothing sunny peeking behind the clouds today....

But what about me?

Oh, alright. I still have Monster. We're still in the game. As long as these things are true there's plenty of sunshine after all!

Monster Massage

I decided to try my hand at massaging Monster today. I've long thought he'd benefit from massage, he tends to have some tight muscles along the spine and neck and it's of course also supposed to be generally beneficial. Unfortunately I can't take him to a massage therapist since I can't be sure how he'd react. I've been reading about canine massage and watching some videos on youtube to try to get the hang of it, and today I decided it was time to put theory into practice. My greatest inspiration is a youtube video of a woman massaging her Boxer. To be honest, I had to fight a bit with myself to watch it through and take her seriously - things like cutesy smiley faces and pausing to think happy thoughts just doesn't come naturally to me. I want facts and straight lines. But that's my own weakness - or prejudice if you will - and I can't let that rule everything. Because what she can do to her dog is nothing short of magic, and I would be truly closed minded if I couldn't see and admit that. There are more technical videos out there, I've watched them too, but this is the one I return to. This is what I want for Monster. Take a look and tell me if this isn't doggie nirvana:

So. Time to try the same for Monster. I put some soft blankets down for him, made sure I was calm and focused, and gave it a go... No doggie nirvana for Monster, let me tell you. What followed was 45 minutes of me trying to get him to relax, while he rolled around on the floor, chewed on my fingers, compulsively licked my hands, arms, legs and feet, got up and walked away, and eventually just started crying! Whenever he got up and left I just sat there and waited to see if he would come back, which he always did after just a few seconds (he basically walked one or two laps around me and then lay back down again). When he started licking or biting me I just took my hands back and waited for him to settle down again. Same when he rolled around, and when he started kicking me. He'd let me keep at it for a minute or two, then he'd start something again. A couple of times I did think he was starting to settle down, he'd heave a sigh and sort of plonk down on his side and even half close his eyes - but then he bounced back up again. I did get a couple of yawns too, which supposedly is also a good sign that a dog is settling into the massage, but they seemed more like precursors to finger chewing in Monster's case. The final time he seemed to settle down and relax he then started to cry - he did a sort of continuous whine/howl thing under his breath which sounded downright eerie. He didn't seem to be protesting the touch, he didn't seem to be in pain or even really unhappy (beyond the crying), but I still called it quits at that point. I'm at a loss here people. I'll probably keep trying, hopefully Monster will get better at relaxing and I'll get better at massaging. I did put the blankets down again in the same spot a few hours later and Monster came up to me right away and lay down, seemingly expectant. So he's presumably not traumatized at least... Still, we have a long way to go before we can compete with the Boxer Bliss!

Today's Cloud

I miss my camera. I'm going stir crazy having to reuse old photos all the time... Sure, Monster is gorgeous and there's just no way anyone could tire of looking at him. But he's gorgeous in new ways every day - and you're missing it! Poor you...

How do you like my Blue Steel?

Yeah, I know it's got nothing to do with reactivity training. But I'm in a really good mood, and I don't want to sour it by harping on details when things are going so well!
(I just jinxed it, didn't I...)

Today's Sunshine

Today we walked over to another village a couple of miles off, to hang out by their (teeny-tiny) train station. Monster watched as children raced around shouting and hitting each other with school bags; as rail workers waved signs, clanged tools, drove ATVs, and shouted; as bikes drove by; as dogs walked past; as life went on around us, basically. We weren't close, we were several hundred feet away from the platform. But we were only about 20 feet away from the path leading up to it, and people and even some dogs did pass us by while we stood there (discretely lurking in the bushes, I'm sure to everyone's delight...) - and while Monster was at times very interested, he never broke. Not once did he act out, his strongest reaction was to a dog trotting past - he craned his neck and sniffed the air vigorously, and even stepped in place a little with his front paws. In other words, it was awesome!

I wanna go again!

Happy, Happy Day!

I've just had the most wonderful experience with Monster! We've gone for a walk along with a Big Bad! Successfully!

Big What? What are you talking about? What!? ME?!?

That's right, Dobie. Monster and Dobie have been kept apart for quite a while now, since Dobie just wouldn't stop attacking Monster... What little they've seen of each other at a distance has been filled with hostile posturing and outright aggression. But tonight we went for a walk. And do you know who had the most problems with this? Dobie! That's right, Monster for the win!

And the crowd goes wild!

While I won't claim Monster was entirely relaxed, the one who dictated distance was Dobie. At the distance (15-20 feet) where Dobie could walk under some control, while still staring and occasionally lunging slightly at Monster, Monster was walking on a relaxed full length leash, sniffing the ground and busily ignoring Dobie altogether. How about that, people!

What're you so excited about? Nothing to it, really...

He did have a bit of a problem when we walked along a tractor lane for a couple of minutes. I've no idea what that was about, but while we were on that lane we had to increase the distance to nearly 50 feet or Monster would turn on Dobie quite aggressively. But as soon as we turned onto another road, the behavior was completely gone again! Weird...

You only say that cause you're not a dog... You just don't get it!

Now, I know Dobie is - in spite of all the problems associated with him - not the same as a strange dog. And I also know that what I'm so excited about as a successful walk would be a complete nightmare to someone else. But for me, this was really amazing! Unless you've struggled with something like this, you just don't know how depressing it gets sometimes... Tonight gave me a much needed glimpse of a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's such a high you would never believe it if I tried telling you. So I won't. But still. Such a high!

Uh-huh... Could you wind down now? I want to take a nap...

Such a high, people! Like you wouldn't believe...

Sick

Both me and Monster seem to have caught some kind of nasty stomach flu... Consider us out of commission for the time being.

I've only got one thing to say: yuck!

Don't read!

Because this post is really all whine... You've been warned!

You people never learn, do you?

I'm sooooooooo tired! I want to sleep!
Seriously, who do I have to kill for a good night's sleep? I'm game, I'm telling you!

Again. This is not difficult: just copy me! Zzzzzzzz...

I'm not sleepy though. Just really, really tired. Lying down, I just find myself staring at the ceiling waiting for something interesting to happen. I hate this. I spent a couple of hours in the garden today, just sitting down doing sweet F-A. Just so Monster could experience something, even if it was just watching the world go by. Poor Monster... I'm so tired by now I no longer remember basic commands - I find myself sort of stuttering some kind of oh-er-uhm-command for simple things like "sit"! (took me about ten minutes to figure that one out in order to write it down! and you don't want to know how long I've spent on making this text readable at all...)

I don't mind. I find I get away with pretty much anything these days... Awesome!

Quite a few years ago I suffered from aphasia. For nearly two years I couldn't rely on verbal commands for the dogs I had then (not the only problem obviously, but this is a dog blog after all), instead using hand signals and nonverbal sounds (clapping, finger snapping, stomping, etc). That was pretty rough, but also challenging. And I still use some of the signals/techniques I developed back then. But this. This is no fun at all. I just want to sleep!

Again. It's not hard. Just try to be normal!

Please. Just let me sleep.... I've read about sleep deprivation psychosis - I realize I'm being a pathetic drama queen, but I can't help wondering just how far off that is by now. Yeah, all right, thats ridiculous. Still though... Please. Just let me sleep. Please...